Says the article in today’s DNA, which Arjun’s mother ; Kavita was kind enough to share this afternoon. Arjun was the first child to enroll in Com DEALL, Mumbai. (Infact, I started the group interventio program because working with him one on one; we realized that he was not developing group skills he would require to survive a regular school) .

Arjun will soon join college. His performace today is testimony to the efforts of his family, the benefits of early intervention and two schools that put their faith in him. Having worked with Arjun from the age of two and a half years , I can remember what the early days were like. Restless- couldn’t sit, terrible temper tantrums- if the lift didn’t work or his mother’s scooter didn’t start; he would howl the place down; with total disregard to whether he was on the main road or a public facility. After three years of intensive therapies; he had developed enough skills to join regular school. He could communicate in lengthy sentences, his academic skills were at par if not above some of his peers. There were many skills however, that still needed to develop. For this, he required the company of regular peers, who would serve as role models. He required a supportive environment.

This was all at a time that was early days in the field for me as a professional. Intenisve, Multidicsiplinary, Early intervention for Autism was brand new in India. We were placing children in mainstream schools for the first time.These children were the path breakers. Arjun’s mum and I; we both learnt on the job – looking for solutions together. I remember early days when he just couldn’t tolerate the presence of other children near him. He would often push children. Not one to give up, Kavitha (Arjun’s mother) worked hard to desensitize him and equip him to face this, while we worked on the same during the group interventions at Com DEALL. There were several challenges that I shall not delve into here. However, I would like to share the frustration I felt when we were ready to mainstream him. I still remember the call I made to my mentor, Dr.Prathibha Karnath (who put the Com DEALL program together) expressing my frustration. We all worked so hard, I told her and he has come so far and yet… he is different; there is so much more still to do. It takes time she counselled, Arjun needs to be in the company of typical peers she explained and over the years he will blend in. ‘Blending in’ was the key, in my opinion and it requires patience and time. Another incident that is still fresh in my mind is my son’s birthday party, which Arjun attended too. That year, Kaun Banega Crorepati (our very own version of Who wants to be a Millionaire) was the rage. We played a kiddie version of it. I had told my mother that Arjun would be attending and with pride I had shared the entire story of the distance he had travelled. At the time, he was six. Sure enough, he played the game and won it too ! But what I felt sad about then was that he stood out like a sore thumb , especially with regards to his ability to pick up subtle social cues and pedantic use of language. Clearly, his peers could sense there was something odd about his behavior. It broke my heart, as I so wanted him to be accepted, to thrive.

Over the years, as he got busy with school work and life in general took over; we lost touch. I met him again; at a club when he was around ten years old. Now no one would ever tell that there was anything different about him. He has blended in beautifully. Infact today, his current school Principal remarked that he managed school pretty much independently.

This brings me to the reason I am writing this tale today. Arjun was fortunate, he found people who believed in him. Contrast this to a conversation I had with some investors who were looking to set up state of the art school for special needs in Mumbai. Early in our meetings, I emphasised the need for society to be supportive. I explained that it is heartbreaking to hear from mothers that their child has been isolated in the building because he is pushing others in the park. Little do we appreciate the hard work and toil, literally blood, sweat and tears that goes in to get a child with Autism this far. A little understanding and patience at this time will make an exponential impact. One of the potential investors, a young monther herself, didn’t see things my way. Suffice to say we saw the difference in our thoughts very early on. The arguement here was that we (mothers of typical children in the park) need to protect our children. While I do see the point; I think amicable solutions can be found if both parties are willing to be a little patient. If I were a parent of a typical child in this situation; I would definitely see this as a golden opportunity to teach my child about respecting difference, about understading behaviors, about learning how to handle challenges. I think children like Arjun teach us that a little patience and empathy from us can turn thigs around for an entire family.

There are many arguements for and against mainstreaming children with Autism. The law of our land supports inclusive education wholeheartedly. In my opinion, it will require all stakeholders to work together for mainstreaming to be a success. Just enrolling the child will never be enough.In Arjun’s case, his mother worked hard to provide support in the early years, systematically addressing every challenge that came their way. They were fortunate to have the backing of the entire family. They were open about the problem and ensured they did everything they possibly could to develop his abilities. His school administration and teachers lent their support in many ways. I don’t see mainstreaming becoming a success any other way. There are many such children that we have worked with over the years, who have experienced success in mainstream schools. There are many for whom it continues to be be a struggle or for whom the doors never open. A critical element, over and above the early intervention; is the understading the family develops of the child, their acceptance, realistic acceptance and whole hearted support. Once this is in place, the next is an environment that is understading. Together they can move mountians.

This is the right place to talk about another child, whose name also begins with A; but will remain annonyous until his parents are ready to share his story. A has more diffilcuties than Arjun. He is currently in Class 6. He goes to a state school. He is doing well academically, he has won many awards for abacus. However his challenges with language, especially being able to narrate and describe are still not at par with his peers. Yet, he has blended in beautifully. It took time , persistence on the part of his family. They have managed to convince his school teachers that this is a boy who will benefit immensely from their patient understanding and support. The teachers are charmed by his ever smiling demeanor. A’s classmates will proactively share classwork with his mother so she can guide him at home. They look out for him in the playground. A’s parents deliberately chose a school that is not fancy. Their main criteria was a school that would be supportive. A continues to thrive. I feel that if A is doing well, inspite of having several challenges, credit must go to the positive attitude and confidence in himself that A’s family have instilled in him .This has come from accpeting A for what he is, from recognizing his strengths and challenges . From being supportive but not spoiling him. From understanding that if A is to be mianstreamed; he cannot be treated as special. From finding areas ( gymnastics, abacus) that he can excel in and providing opportunities to shine, ensuring his self esteem stayed intact. From providing a happy environment to ensure a happy child. I look forward to reading about A too in the newspaper.

Signing off with a thought and a prayer for many who will follow Arjun’s path. Praying for greater understanding all around.

Sharing the link to today’s article and another one to last year’s when yet another Com DEALL child, Nehal was written about in the papers.

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/autism-no-barrier-for-her-to-pass-with-flying-colours/articleshow/58886134.cms